Do you sometimes feel as if you were put on earth to serve others?
Are you overly accommodating and find it difficult to say no?
Are you drained from overdoing for others?
When you complain, are you told that you should like a martyr?
Do you feel as if you are dragging the person up the hill?
Are you doing the majority of the person’s work?
If you said, YES to more then 3, then you are over-functioning in your relationships and most likely enabling the behavior of a person.
If you believe that you fit the Enablers qualities, it is valuable to know that Enablers are often motivated by love and the desire to be valued. Most enablers are born with generous heart and enjoy helping others, however the strategies of “helping” are not always helpful to themselves or the person they are caring for.Enabling can often to a loss of self and a minimizing of ones emotions for the benefit of other person.
The next time you are tempted to help another, ask yourself “What am I afraid will happen if I don’t “help”?” That is the real reason that you enable and that issue is worth exploring.